Hedgehog Hits Hard Rock

Adult film legend, Ron “the hedgehog” Jeremy landed in my backyard this weekend. The attentive staff at the Hard Rock had one bungalow readied forJeremy and a second for his famed foot-long. Bitsie was worried she would be summoned again to serve as “fluffer”, but was spared this inglorious fate when Britney Spears stepped up to the plate. Spears, distraught after learning that her ex, Kevin “Popozao” Federline is opening a Vegas nightclub, hit the Jelly Bellies. Hard. In the grip of a sugar high, the poptart reportedly confused The Hedgehog with ‘super-size-me’ KFug. It went downhill from there . . .